Don't let the title fool you...although this might be a great name for a band or an album it is not so fun as part of life. So here I sit, in the middle of a great Easter party and I am fighting off an anxiety attack. I hate, hate this part of my life. Everything else I can deal with, but I can't stand that these anxiety attacks come when I am trying to have fun but I just wasn't prepared enough today to battle this one before the party got started.
I am so sick of this social anxiety. I am sick of getting so overwhelmed when I am surrounded by people who love me. I am so sick of having to psych myself into going to parties. Sometimes I think that I would rather take another illness rather than this mental/physical game that my mind plays on me. Oh well, this is the hand that I was dealt and I will deal with it. All I can do is take a breather and get my heart rate back to normal and my mind clear. And next time there is an event, I can take the steps I need to so that I can try to win the battle earlier.
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